The Bottom Rung of the Ladder and God's Grace

One event was beyond my control and one was completely within my control. But both could have led to me absolutely chucking this call to ministry that I had freshly committed to. I mean, come on I had started Bible College and was loving my classes. I wasn't making ends meet but I was enjoying working at yet another bowling center. And then in September 1997 the first blow came from somewhere I would have never expected . . .

Let me back up a little bit. In June 1997 a member of my family had corrective surgery to increase blood flow to the brain. And it didn't take us long to figure out that all was not well following the procedure but they were maintaining so all questions were put on hold. In early September some of us vacationed in Panama City Beach, FL and had by all accounts a wonderful time. When we returned home it happened. I remember it like it was yesterday . . . I had come in from church for a little lunch before heading out to the bowling center for my shift and tensions were rising between two of the dearest people in my life. Let me simply say this . . . when the words were spoken my plate broke on the floor and uncertainty would not be an apt description of what ensued. I'm being vague because there are many in my family that have no clue that this event ever took place and because it quickly became water under the bridge. But the event shattered my faith in my call to ministry. None of what was said was true, but this individual was clearly suffering side effects which included impaired judgment (obviously).

So, I was not going back to school. I just stopped going to class and started working more hours at the bowling center. And a month later event two took place and I could officially classify myself as being on the bottom rung of the ladder. I don't know if I was looking for it, or if it found me but I managed to indulge my flesh in a most worldly manner. After our second encounter I drove away shaking my head and finally, finally, realized that this road led straight to hell. And I was resigning myself to that fact. How could God possibly still be interested in using someone like me? And yet . . .

David Cook, Dean of Students at Atlanta Christian College called me and asked me if I was returning in the Spring? I told him I didn't see how and I was sure that my professors had withdrawn me failing. He advised me to drop by school and check my mailbox. So I did. It was stuffed full of memos and announcements and the withdrawal slips from my four classes, all of which were WP or withdraw passing. :) I came home and told my grandparents that I was going back in January, this time for good. "Grace, grace, God's grace"

I immediately started looking for ministry opportunities. And it didn't take too long for me to find one. The Buffington Road Christian Church (Independent, not DoC) in College Park, GA was looking for a youth minister. I had one interview with the minister Les Shell and his wife, Doris. We talked for a while and I told them I could also help out in leading worship at which point Doris Shell laughed at me and said in essence, "yeah right."

Well, I got the job and within a couple of weeks I was leading worship too. Turns out God was in a very giving mood with me in the category of singing voice. Things were actually looking way up . . . but there's still a long road ahead. More to come . . .

Another Setback . . . But Then . . .

1997 - I'm back in Woodstock, Betty has moved on and soon so would I. It's the kind of thing one would see in a movie, but I tried it and it actually worked. As part of the scoring system at the bowling center it was possible to send messages to bowlers on individual lanes. And so I did. We'll call her Angela (these are not real names, just a reminder). I asked her when we would be going out and to my surprise she walked up to the counter and said "You tell me" and smiled. Well . . . needless to say I was overjoyed. A few dates later we were inseparable. She lived in Carrollton, GA and I was a fixture in Carroll County for the first six months of 1997. Thinking I was Ross Geller from Friends naturally I proposed and she accepted and I really thought this was the end of the search. Well . . .

Change of subject . . . On June 9th, 1997 on lanes 17-18 at AMF Woodstock I bowled my one and only 300 game during league play. It's an experience I'll never forget. But the joy didn't last very long, not long at all . . .

Two weeks after I bowled that perfect game I was alone again and I quite literally went nutty one night, I lost it. (I'll spare details, I'm embarrassed by my behavior, not toward anyone but myself). As quickly as it had begun it was over. Angela was gone. I would lose my job and then I would get it back a few weeks later, but I was just aimless, completely aimless.

Enter God and an old friend (Thanks Mark) with an invitation to be a counselor for a youth retreat in Panama City Beach. Almost immediately my friend seemed to regret bringing me. I was reserved and quiet (those of you who know me know if I'm quiet, something's wrong ;)). But one night on the beach I looked up into the sky and said, "alright, that's it I'll do what you have called me to do." When I get back home I'll enroll in a Bible college and prepare myself for life in ministry." From that point on the retreat was a pleasure. I opened up and was told I was a great asset to the team.

When I got home I did as I promised. I applied and was accepted to Atlanta Christian College. I would start in the Fall of 1997. It looked like everything was finally heading in the right direction.

But September and October of 1997 would provide two events which could have very easily derailed my life. And they almost did. God reached down and pulled me out. It wasn't the first time and it certainly won't be the last. More to come . . .

1996 and Beyond

Well . . . following the heartbreak of late 1995 I resumed my career in the bowling industry with a new company and a new location. Brunswick Azalea Lanes in Austell offered me an opportunity to come in as their Control Counter Supervisor which quickly turned over into another opportunity to be an Assistant Manager and enter their Management Training Program which brought great promise for me, workwise that is. I loved my job, working late, sleeping in. This was the advent of Cosmic Bowling, where the lights went down and the music was turned up LOUD. I have fond memories of some very good times.

In the summer I was given an opportunity to work at the Olympic Bowling Center at Georgia Tech where the athletes would come to relax and have some fun. Thank God for the shoe size chart which crossed nearly all nationalities. Conversation was minimal but the experience was fun. I was the only Assistant Manager there. It was a real honor.

It seemed that all was going well . . . but deep inside I had a massive hole in my heart. I was lonely and I was living in disobedience to the call which God had placed on my life. I kept thinking that maybe, just maybe, Betty and I would get back together but it never happened. 1996 rolled into 1997 very quietly. My bowling game was improving, my stock with Brunswick was on the rise and then one night . . . I didn't want it anymore, I just couldn't take another day of this grind. I don't think it was the job, I loved the job. I just got bored and wanted to do something different. So after I closed the bowling center on a Saturday night and I left a note (terribly unprofessional and irresponsible, but I was 23 going on 15 and didn't really care) telling my boss that I was through. Another year, another job . . . no peace. I worked for a little while at the Bowling Center in Douglasville where my dad and I bowled just to make a little money but then I was on my way back to Woodstock and that bowling center which still to this day has a very special place in my heart.

1997 was the turning point though regarding my call to ministry. But of the twists and turns that were to come. The question was simple . . . Where and in what/who is my faith located? Stay Tuned. I promise I won't wait three months before posting again.

Earth Shatter # 1

1995 was a very good year, well at least the first ten months of it anyway. Life was rolling along in the Bowling Center business. My relationship with Betty was growing more and more, and then taking major steps back every once in a while, but nothing to get too worked up about. And then came November. Exciting news for Beatles fans, new CD's and a TV special (Anthology), Thanksgiving, Christmas, there was a lot to get excited about.
And then it was over . . .
Too many fights, too much insecurity and immaturity (mostly on my part). She walked into the bowling center on a Sunday. I was preparing to run a tournament. She gave me her ring and I lost it. I left, no tournament for me, I ran as far as I could. There just happened to be a Beatles Convention of sorts down near the airport so I went down there and basically spent an entire paycheck to try and forget about what had just happened. It didn't work, the music was great, but it didn't work. I remember a snapshot of me outside her window, straight out of a movie begging to be talked to, her father attempting to reason with me (he and her mother were so very sweet to me through all of it and I thank them for that). And there's another snapshot, a few nights later of me standing behind the counter watching The first night of the Anthology and watching Paul McCartney sing "Yesterday" and crying my 22 year old eyes out. Another snapshot a few weeks later of me (and this is the only time I've ever done this) sitting at a bar at another bowling center and enjoying strawberry wine coolers being supplied by a friend of mine who understood that I was hurting deeply. My dad, watched from a distance, embarrassed and concerned for his son. I cherish that part of the picture. That which I had come to see as the ultimate reality in my life was gone and there was no getting it back. So . . . I ran straight into 1996. More to come . . .

Meanwhile . . .

He met Betty. We'll call her Betty. He was working down in Bugs Bunny World serving a demotion period for a mistake at another ride of which he was a lead. He thought he would be serving his time while waiting to climb that ladder again. But then . . . there she was and he was hooked. The two of them dated steadily and realized they both had a common interest, bowling. He was an average bowler, but she was outstanding. It seems that she had been bowling all of her life and was one of the top youth bowlers in the state of Georgia. He just tried to keep the ball out of the gutter as often as he could manage.
Meanwhile he was repromoted and things were back on track at Six Flags. That ministerial calling was fading into the background as career and possible family interests were muting the call of God. Still, he couldn't complain about where life was going. Except for one thing . . . he needed a full time job to pay his full time bills. And Six Flags could not give that to him, at least not yet anyway. He made a decision which he still considers a mistake today, he left Six Flags and started working in a bowling center. He still wishes he would have stayed at SFOG but he would have more steady work and it didn't hurt that Betty worked at this bowling center.
Well a few months later he and Betty were engaged. He was the Assistant Manager at the bowling center and the future was bright. But off in the distance that still small voice was still whispering . . . You're mine and I have called you to something else, something more, something . . . but enough of that, let's bowl another game and get on with life . . .

1995 would change things, EVERYTHING. More to come . . .

Moving Right Along . . .

Well, it's a few days past tomorrow but nevertheless . . .

The angry young man leaves Young Harris after two years and experiences great success at Six Flags Over Georgia in the Rides Department and begins working his way up the ladder. Over the course of the next two years he ascends and descends as he struggles with the success at SFOG and his calling to ministry. And then in 1994 he meets her and becomes a little confused about his calling and his place of employment. God is working but the young man must admit he's clueless as to the direction of his life. More about her and the rise and fall of the mid-90's to come . . . Remember we're trying to uncover God's hand in each of these situations. More to come . . .

God's Fingerprints . . .

Life sometimes just doesn't seem to make much sense. As I drove over to the office this morning listening to "In The Wee Small Hours" by Frank Sinatra I began to reminisce about my teenage years (along with my early 20's) and ponder where and when God was most at work in my life.

Consider the following . . .

1. An angry (and we never really knew why) young man reaches a point of no return with his dad and moves in with his mom (whom he had never lived with) for his Junior and Senior years of high school and changes his name as a symbol of this new lease on life.
2. This angry young man hears the preaching of Johnny Hunt at First Baptist Woodstock and hears afresh the gospel call and begins to reorient his life to God
3. This angry young man excels in the arts, meets a friend, John, who would be his partner in music) and at least attempts athletics and then receives a scholarship to Young Harris College to study music.
4. This angry young man meets Rev. Frederic J. Whitley at Young Harris, serves as his assistant and one night during a thunderstorm receives an unmistakable call to ministry.

And at this point this angry young man begins to pick up God's trail . . . or were his eyes opened to the fact that God was there all along? More to come tomorrow . . . . Js